Make Friends By Being One

2013-03-30 (Saturday) by Mikael Linusson

It's as simple as what I'm about to say:

If you want more friends, be one!

By being nice and friendly you attract nice and friendly people into your life.

I could have stopped here, but I won't. ;)

So let's talk some more about how to make friends. But keep the "Be one!" in your thoughts, it's an important part of the formula.

It's Not All About You

Needy people who believe that other people should be their friend, or is obligated to be it, or whatever they think, are out on deep deep water. The only way to get real friends is to be one.

And with that I don't mean that you should let people use you, a good candidate for a real friend would never do that.

You should do things for other people because you want to do it, not because you want something from them, and not just because someone asks you to do it, but because you are a good person. It doesn't have to be big things and don't keep score. Don't expect people to do the same for you that you did for them.

Nobody owes you friendship or anything like that, no matter what you've done for them. If you and another person are a good friends match, then you'll be friends, otherwise you won't, and that's how it should be, it's the best for both of you. And even if people really like you and you get along well, then it doesn't mean that they want more friends in their life right now. Don't take things personally.

Be and Behave as a Friend

Aim to be a fun and loving person to be around. Be nice to other people, without expecting anything in return. Smile more, a lot more. Be friendly and be yourself.

Don't strive to get friends. If you are going to strive for anything then strive to be a friend. Don't expect or try to get things from other people. Be a giver and soon you'll be the one receiving. Be a friend and soon you'll have potential friends everywhere.

Do You Think You Are To Shy?

If you believe that you are too shy to get to know new people, then I have only one thing to say to you: Get over yourself!

You stop being shy the moment you stop acting like a shy person. Not a minute before, not a minute later.

Begin to talk to people and look them in their eyes while you do it. Practice by doing. Just walk up to people and talk about whatever pops to mind. Don't expect anything, just try to be nice. Dare doing, you have nothing to lose. What other people think about you doesn't matter. Try talking and connecting with people and have fun doing it. Keep your expectations down and see the experience as the reward.

Additional Tips

As I'm feeling really nice today I'll give you some extra tips. ;)

  • Smile a lot.
  • Be helpful.
  • Be nice towards everybody.
  • Practice making eye contact.
  • Don't run around and expect friendship, it happens when it's meant to happen.
  • Be around people. You know, if you sit at home it will be quite hard to meet people. :)
  • Try to remember people's name. A good tip is to use it in a sentence right after they told it to you.
  • Don't be afraid to make a fool of yourself. It really doesn't matter what others think about you.
  • Talk positively, especially about yourself. No one wants to be around a whiner.
  • Be you! You will never get real friends by pretending to be something other that what you really are.
  • Focus on living and having fun and the friends will show up due time.

Do something nice to someone you kind of know, but isn't best friend with. For example, bring a cappuccino to some fellow (or fellows) at work, or help some known or unknown person with something when you notice that they need help. Just do it then continue doing what you were doing. If they say "Thank you" then just give them a big smile, if they don't say "Thank you", then that is their problem, not yours. :)

Leave Your Shell and Begin to Live

Get out of that shell of yours that stops you from living and begin to live your life as you really want to!

The ones who are a good match to be friends with you will be your friends if you just let them get to know the real you.

Get out and live and have fun and everything else will be just fine! :)